Saturday, September 20, 2008

Karen Missing Joey ...

I am missing... sitting with him chatting mindlessly while he focused intently on his blackberry--"multitasking"---just being with him while he worked hard.

I am missing...watching him swing my grandkids around in the grass, and chase them, and tell them hilarious stories as they sat around him, enraptured by his imagination and firing up theirs.

I am missing....eating breakfast and dinner together on the lanai and his enthusiasm for gourmet food and new tastes...i.e.. avocado toast

I am missing....watching him walk down to the Cove, surfboard under his arm, carried by his long swaying stride --- pleasure and peace on his face.

I am missing...him patiently teaching me how to use itunes and ipods and google picasa, and other techno-stuff. He nudged me into new things.

I am missing...the melodious plunk, plunk, plunk of his ukulele in my home.

I am missing...stirring and challenging discussions of politics, and then a smile!

I am missing...shiny auburn hair, chocolate drop eyes, long, strong legs, sensitive fingers, and one crooked tooth in an otherwise radiant smile.

I am missing...spoiling him with love and fun on his birthday.

I am missing....the feeling he gave me that I was such a wonderful mother.


8 comments:

anjuli paschall said...

i've spent the last couple hours reading joey and Rachel's van blog. i am still so amazed by his life, the adventures he lived, and how much people love him. your words touched me. thank you for sharing your 'missings.'

Anonymous said...

Dear Karen,
I just wanted you to know that your "missings of Joey" make your life together as mother and son powerful beyond your own lives. I am raising two boys now 15 months and 4 years. Reading your words today my eyes fill with tears and my heart aches for you with happy sadness... sad for your indescribable loss... happy that you had such wonderful experiences and now such powerful memories. We are so blessed to be mothers. It is an experience of such intensity both physical and emotional. Your loss reaches out to me and compels me to cherish EVERY precious moment with my sons. Thank you for this message. GOD bless.
with aloha,
Valerie Ryden
Sunshine Coast, Canada

Anonymous said...

1 John 5:5-8 (TLB)
"But who could possibly fight and win this battle except by believing that Jesus is truly the Son of God? And we know he is, because God said so with a voice from Heaven when Jesus was baptised,and again as he was facing death...yes, not only at his baptism,but also as he faced death. And the Holy Spirit, forever truthful, says it too. So we have these three witnesses: the voice of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, the voice from Heaven at Christ's baptism, and the voice before he died. And they ALL say the same thing: that Jesus Christ is the Son of God!"

Mele said...

Dear Karen,

You are a good mother. Your words express such tenderness that pulls us into your sorrow. We will remember your loss in prayer and treasure those closest to us as the gifts that they are.

Thinking of you,

Mele

Anonymous said...

love you Karen.
Les

Spencer said...

hey joe and karen

love & miss you guys

praying for you
spencer

kim insley-morrell said...

Thank you for your heartfelt words of "Missing Him"

I feel the depths of your sorrow and pray for you and your family.

Love

Kim Insley-Morrell

Kelly Bonsell said...

Dear Karen,

I haven't been to this Blog since our family went on vacation in August (during Joey’s Birthday). It's been too long--I am sorry. Though I haven't kept up, I think about Joey, you, Joe and the rest of your family A LOT. So many things (big and little) have been reminding me of Joey... they always will.

When I came back to this Blog a few days ago, your "I am missing" filled me with many emotions: Who Joey is, what we loved about him, how he made us feel, who he made us to be, and how he has helped to mold me into the mommy I am to my two little boys. The love us mothers have for our children is overwhelmingly indescribable, something that only now I have the privilege to experience. Your loss of Joey is deep because you loved so much together. The pain, the missing, the longing are there because of the intense relationship that only a mother and her son are able to share. There is no other love quite like it. Without that love, there would be no pain. The stronger the love, the deeper the pain. I am sorry.

Your words are powerful! Many “missings” made me smile and cry. But the one that stood out -- “...one crooked tooth in an otherwise radiant smile” -- made me break down. What a detailed remembrance that only you could so eloquently describe. As Valerie Ryden said, I feel for you with “happy sadness”. Thank you for sharing your heart. You will never forget those special traits, quirks and moments that make Joey, Joey. I too will not forget. And many others will continue to remember.

We love you and are praying for you.

With Much, much Love,
Kelly Bonsell