Friday, June 27, 2008

Dear Family And Friends ...

It has been almost 5 weeks since Joey died...certainly the shortest and longest season of life we have ever lived. On the one hand we can't believe so much time has passed since we first heard the devastating news--it was a blur of shock, panic, deadlines and unwanted decisions. On the other hand, it feels our crushed hopes and dashed dreams, the relentless pain of missing our beautiful son, is never-ending. And from hearing from others who have walked this road before us, we now know in fact that it does indeed never end. There is nothing that ever takes away the pain of missing a child lost to his parents and family.

We are accepting as part of the "new normal" of our lives that as long as we live, we will long for our precious son. How could it be any other way? We've loved him for 28 years; we fed him, dressed him, comforted him; we sang to him, snuggled with him, and read Dr. Seuss to him; we taught him to ride a bike, hit a ball, and ski a slope; we watched him grow tall, fall in love with music, live his dreams, and love God and the world around him. We saw him grow into a talented, considerate, fun-loving and successful man with a wide circle of friends and fans.

We were proud of who he was as we packed up his bungalow in LA. His private world became open to our viewing... his journals, his finances, his books, his computer and his closets gave testimony to an upright man. We are proud of him in life and in death.

How can we ever forget or become accustomed to the loss of this man who graced our lives for 28 vibrant years? It's a testimony to his worth that we cannot. We will grieve his loss till we are with him again, and learn to function with our grief by God's grace. We have taken ourselves off of "recovery time tables" and just accepted that this too is part of the loss...our life will never be the same.

Karen and Joe

8 comments:

Kim Insley-Morrell said...

Dear Karen and Joe,

Thank you for sharing your hearts with us this morning.

Love to you!
Kim

Janis said...

Dear Karen and Joe,
We pray for you and wonder how you are. It was so good to read your words this morning. Thank you.
You are always close in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Jerry and Janis

Lisa said...

Dear Karen & Joe,

I miss you two! I wasn't able to give you a hug at the memorial service because I had to leave for Father's Day dinner with JB and the girls. Angel (Teryn Onishi) was sitting with me and she may not have been able to stay 'til the end as well. But know that we were there and we really wanted to say hi. Thank you for your words here on the blog. They are cherished words from God's heart to you, then from you to us. We are grieving with you. I'm praying for you and your family.

Love,
Lisa Bryant

Heather said...

You guys have truly amazed me during this whole process. I can ses God's grace working in your lives and I pray that He will continue to give you His grace as you need it. In the moments when you can physically feel the pain and loss. I have be praying for you daily and will continue to do so during this season of your grieving, the quiter times come around and you feel a whole new realm of sadness and longing. I love you and praying for you.
Love, Heather Overholt

lorensaved77 said...

Dear Joe and Karen
It is so good to see the healing taking place each time we visit.

You are right, as we often talked about, the pain never really completly goes away, just with TIME, it does get more managable, like any healing,pysical, spiritual,mental, it takes time and God does help us get better.

Thanks for sharing your feelings and lives with all who love you so dearly.

Remember "Baby Steps" a little every day, SUN and SON are very good for the soul!

Love and many Blessings today and Always,
We are here for you!
Nancy, John and Loren Family

Gzusmauinjoseph said...

Aloha karen and Joe,

I resonating with your words posted here today. Bless you both. It's a bittersweet path for all of us now. When you feel what you feel, let it be. Don't hold back or force anything. You are where you are and God is holding you.

Joe and I want to have time to visit with you in the coming weeks. We know that it will be "the long haul" that will necessitate moments when you can receive from others. We hold you close in our hearts and prayers daily.

It seems like just through the loss of Joey, we got to know who he was. How incredible! A remarkable life, lived fully.

We are here for you.

In Christ,
Kim and Joe Finney

Anonymous said...

Thank you Karen for your thoughts, being so far away and not being able to hug you, to talk to you or to see you, your thoughts helped. I pray for you constantly, you and your family are always close to my heart. I know that God is sustaining you and will continue to. The letter to JoAnne was wonderful, I have been trying to think of a way to write to you but that letter says it all.

Dave and I love you and Joe and just wanted you to know we are praying.

Hugs and much aloha,

Barb

Garnett and Scott said...

We love you all and thanks for sharing with us. Your family is continually in our thoughts and prayers.
Love, Garnett and Scott